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December 20, 2016

IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED TO YOU I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

This is supposed to be steam of consciousness, but it’s not

If anything ever happened to you I wouldn’t know what to do
you hold my world together through all our stormy weather you are there by my side as I sit and wait for you tonight

You’ve  been going all day long working hard at being strong solving the problems of other people, mostly very old and to sick to care for them selves in a world where Medicare is a not funny, it’s a  joke. They giving you no respect, expecting too much to often and to often demanding. You get no strokes, and God forbid, that’s what killed your mother.

IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED TO YOU I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

I am not a fool, I know the rules that some day, maybe too soon, one of us will be gone and the one who stays in the one who plays the deep sorrow mourning songs and will have to hold on to memories—some sweet—some better—some hot—some cold. We started out young, and look, we’ve lasted till were old.

IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED TO YOU I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

I’m standing here looking out the window to the East. I looking into a dark street where the snow and the slush has left its stuff. The cheep city’s cheep street light makes the late afternoon dark seem like a mystery, old England, damp and dark to early.

Cars race past walking people dressed in black (insane) ,walking dogs that have little red lights blinking on their collar. Why do people walk in the dark dressed in black? Screw the dog, don’t they care about themselves?

Where are you? You texted me 30 minutes ago, my anxiety and worry are about to begin but I got it under control, not freaking, I’ve been here before, last night, and the night before and the night before and so it goes, every night. You leave at 6AM and if I’m lucky you get home twelve and a half later—6:30PM, where are you?

IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED TO YOU I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

Lights dully shine on the berm of snow. Could that be you coming round the corner at East Side Park? Watch it dear, it’s always icy there dear, they never plow that side of the street honey, sand and salt to the West, but never to the East. I often wonder why there aren’t more accidents on that curve. As I approach that curve I use my down shift knowing that that is a better way to slow than brakes. Stepping on the breaks cause slides, down shifting uses the lower gears of the car to reduce speed. I’ve told you that, but you either don’t know how to do it or you don’t believe me, or more to the point, you just don’t want to.
IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED TO YOU I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

The pizza is almost done. Twelve minutes @ 325º. You texted me from 280 and Hwy. 94, not that far away, you should be here by now. Then as usual we’ll sit, rush through a God bless this feast prayer, then eat, you’ll tell me of your day, I’ll tell you of mine, I’ll clean up the kitchen, and then you’ll go watch TV. Its Hallmark Christmas 24/7 twelve months a year.

IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED TO YOU I KNOW THE FIRST THING I WOULD DO
I WOULD KILL THE TV!

She’s home! Lets eat!

The End, 😉

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