, , , , , , ,

I’m out here again on the rocks
not on the Rock
whose voice am I hearing
whose voice is speaking
how can belief become not belief
is it not belief or some insane lane
leading me to a better place
positive thinking would lend credence to that
but I’m fretting over not going anywhere
but going back

a new church, a new song, a new preacher
who doesn’t always tell my why I’m wrong
words hurt, words heal, pain continues,
separation of church and state, the state of my
faith-less mind, too much mind, not enough soul
to many questions, too much sorry, prayers are shallow

read Job 3 the voice said to me, your reading me
but he had faith, into deaths face he said ‘Amen’
the faith of Job escapes me tonight
dialog, opinions, public chatter of  ‘I think it like this’ scrambles my vision
hurts my ears, I stare at the floor and watch falling tears

You were there, are here, I am not where I was
where I am is an argument I can’t win
truth is not available to a doubting mind

This too shall pass, sing to the Lord a new song
clichés, touchés burn in my ears, the fires roar
deadens the voice of the one I need to hear
lift depression, deep oppression, chemical imbalance,
or battle ground wounded, what am I? she said the devil,
I so old, too old to still be in and out of doubt,

Didn’t Jesus say some will drift away,
he knew what I don’t know enough to understand
so I stand down, and use the most over use cliché of all
“I’m waiting on the Lord” to clear the smoke,
Holy Spirit please refine my aimless quest and weak desire
to stand in the church again with hands raised,
singing praise, as on Easter Day, I need the resurrection
a resurrection of me, so I can declare,
not as a magpie but as a true saint
He Has Resin, He Has Resin Indeed!!
and I will be the first to say Hosannas
with His love and forgiveness washing me clean.