Darkness in the words of light

Troubled by the darkness in the words of light. What I am trying to say is these books, daily thoughts, guideposts I read in the morning to attune my self and my day and my activities sometimes dwell so heavily on the sin, death, unworthiness of us that I feel weighted down, not lifted up.

I see God and my Lord in the morning. I give Him thanks for another day, another chance to serve and be saved. I seem to have an inborn predisposition to be negative. I must effort/surrender in order to be positive and productive.


Even still, my life is hard sometimes. While I read about my unworthiness, sin and the hopelessness of my un-surrendered life, a life without Christ, I can, I believe, have permission to close that book or pamphlet and pray the Lord Prayer, or turn the page to a lighter subject. If what I need is his Light, I can seek it.

I know all my sin and short falls and do need to be reminded of them lest I get too filled with myself. Lord, sometimes I just need to know I’m saved because I’ve given my self to you. I long to be told I’m your child and you care for me. I want to know those things. I yearn to  feel your comfort, care and compassion with my struggles to be righteous.

Lord, it’s lonely here sometimes. The closed doors and constant noise bests me and beats  me down. My calm is disrupted and my faith is rocked. Those are the times I need you most. I listen for your words, the words to lift me up.
That’s prayer, and I know it!

Prayer up to Christ,
Prayer down from Christ. Father and Son.
Family, Love, Wholeness and Love