He awakes…

His daily goals become problems before his day even begins

there should be joy here’ he thinks

there should be a childlike excitement in the ability to do even these simple things I can do, there should be YOU!

 

He reflects**

 

There was a time he loved to play just to play

his play became a craft with a personal passion

his craft became a job well done

his job became routine

his passion was worn away

then entered the dark night of the soul, the passion died

he became a scar’d soul worn, sick, imprisoned within a thick shell of anger

Dormancy collected and possessed him

he didn’t fight it, he gave himself away

he fell to the hard brick floor of ennui

It was easy doing nothing, feeling nothing

he grew obese, morose. He sat and watched as his love drifted away.

The stunk of sadness was unrelenting, he was a pathetic sight no eye cared to see.

He became so lazy he couldn’t even get angry

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Thank God this day is not those days

today, those days are gone

this day he is healthy in the Lord, praises the Lord 

He’s touch’d lightly with a bit of OC thoughts that attempt to sway him away from pen, paper, keyboard, blog, God, prayer, bikes, guitars….but today he can beat back the blues, today he can break the ball and smash the chain. 

Today freedom can be attained and he believes that if he can do it once, today, he can do it again tomorrow.

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Preached words of yester eve attempts desperately to spark a light in him:

“hold on—believe—I won’t abandon you

when your darkness consumes you hold on,

know I AM, and I am here for you,

in that knowing I will work too to pull you through,

you’er not alone, you’re not adrift on a dead sea of calm

hold tight in your hearts mind the sight of the light that shatters darkness

believe I AM, and, WE will overcome, even if you think it can’t be done.

I AM the lighthouse on the not to distant shore

I AM the beacon 

I AM the one to hold onto when your anger and abandonment abuse you

“Remember what you’ve gone through

don’t deny it, don’t hide it, don’t put it away on some shelf in the back of your mind or in the basement of your soul, use your experiences for strength and patience

wait out the storm and when the storm comes again, and it will,

in the new storm a new stronger you will emerge, enabled with a budding strength you can pass to another whose fear and insecurity is trapping them in a sea of darkness, gloom, hopelessness, abandonment and fear that you know and that you just came through. Then, you are part of the light, of the beacon of the way, of me!”

 

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He prays aloud, ‘oh Lord, I know I am special to you

I was the wayward son, the black sheep with a silver thread, ever leaving, ever coming home, ever forgiven, ever given freedom to run again but choosing you instead and staying. This then is how I know you love me and this then is how I love you. 

You save’d me, and I will pass on what you gave me, freedom!!

 Amen

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